How to Get a Mentor in 3 Steps: Third, Connect with Courage

150 150 Ellen Ensher

courage mentor Training with Courage Ellen EnsherIf mentoring is so great, why doesn’t everyone do it? In twenty years of doing research and working with clients, I have noticed that people don’t get involved in mentoring or mentor training often times because they are afraid. Being a courage mentor means being there to help those in need of assistance. How do you overcome the fear of reaching out and making the connection?

Courage Mentoring

Typically I have found that almost everyone has some fear of connecting and this is true for bright young undergraduates as well as successful executives. The reasons for the fear might be a little different but it is real. Courage mentors are the one thing that can help guide in the right direction. One way that I have found that is helpful, which is well supported by psychological research, is for individuals to develop their own courage ritual. So, for some people, it is a song they sing or listen to on their way to an important meeting or a networking event.

Courage Ritual

For others, the courage ritual might be a phrase or quote that they read before reaching out to others. Some people have a spiritual practice, a form of prayer, or meditation. Still others might even have a physical routine such as a power pose, which has shown to increase confidence level. Recently, I have asked professionals and students to share with me their courage rituals and here are a few:

• Sing Roar by Katy Perry. “I got the eye of the tiger, the fighter, dancing through the fire.”

• Listen to I Can by Nas “I know I can be what I want to be, If I work hard at it, I’ll be where I want to be”

• Call Mom.

• Deep focused breathing with 5 breaths in and 5 breaths out.

• Say a prayer and visualize victory.

• I repeat this to myself “Courage is being scared to death.. and saddling up anyway…”
John Wayne

• I recite movie lines to myself: “I am the King of the World!” and “You talking to me?
You Talking to Me?”

• I clap my hands and say this” I can do it, There’s nothing too hard for me, Just get up and do it”

• I punch things to release my adrenaline and then I pray

In conclusion, I would love to hear from you. What are your fears about mentoring? Do you have a courage ritual and what is it it? How do you find a mentor?

You just read Part 3 of this series. This completes the serie of this mentoring guide. Click below to read the previous parts of:
How to Get a Mentor in 3 Steps in 3 Weeks

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