If mentoring is so great, why doesn’t everyone do it? In twenty years of doing research and working with clients, I have noticed that people don’t get involved in mentoring or mentor training often times because they are afraid. Being a courage mentor means being there to help those in need of assistance. How do you overcome the fear of reaching out and making the connection?
Typically I have found that almost everyone has some fear of connecting and this is true for bright young undergraduates as well as successful executives. The reasons for the fear might be a little different but it is real. Courage mentors are the one thing that can help guide in the right direction. One way that I have found that is helpful, which is well supported by psychological research, is for individuals to develop their own courage ritual. So, for some people, it is a song they sing or listen to on their way to an important meeting or a networking event.
For others, the courage ritual might be a phrase or quote that they read before reaching out to others. Some people have a spiritual practice, a form of prayer, or meditation. Still others might even have a physical routine such as a power pose, which has shown to increase confidence level. Recently, I have asked professionals and students to share with me their courage rituals and here are a few:
• Sing Roar by Katy Perry. “I got the eye of the tiger, the fighter, dancing through the fire.”
• Listen to I Can by Nas “I know I can be what I want to be, If I work hard at it, I’ll be where I want to be”
• Call Mom.
• Deep focused breathing with 5 breaths in and 5 breaths out.
• Say a prayer and visualize victory.
• I repeat this to myself “Courage is being scared to death.. and saddling up anyway…”
• I recite movie lines to myself: “I am the King of the World!” and “You talking to me?
You Talking to Me?”
• I clap my hands and say this” I can do it, There’s nothing too hard for me, Just get up and do it”
• I punch things to release my adrenaline and then I pray
In conclusion, I would love to hear from you. What are your fears about mentoring? Do you have a courage ritual and what is it it? How do you find a mentor?
You just read Part 3 of this series. This completes the serie of this mentoring guide. Click below to read the previous parts of:
How to Get a Mentor in 3 Steps in 3 Weeks